Creepy Toews Will Haunt Your Nightmares

Creepy Toews can kill you with his brain.

We all have that one friend who does not know how to smile in front of cameras. I mean, in front of you, they might be able to laugh and joke and look fine. But when the camera turns on, they always manage to look odd or, well, downright creepy.

For the Blackhawks, that friend is Jonathan Toews.

The first time this was evident was during the infamous Dell STREAK commercial featuring Toews and Patrick Kane awkwardly scoping out chicks using bootleg iPhones.

Go to :08 of that video, and you will see this:

Creepy Toews has X-ray vision -- and likes what he sees.

This face became somewhat infamous as HOCKEENIGHT used it in their banner, where it, uh, proudly sits to this day.

They've also incorporated it into their swag. This is the greatest coffee mug I've ever owned.

Fast-forward to the beginning of this season, where Jonathan Toews is at a press conference at the first day of training camp. At 2:23 in the linked video, he makes this face:

Creepy Toews will eat your liver with fava beans and a nice chianti.

An intrepid Tumblr user known as Penguins GIF Factory has now taken this and turned it into nightmare fuel.

Obviously, there is a HOCKEY PLAYER in LINCOLN PARK!

Creepy Toews can pop up anywhere...

Like back in time. OH THE HUMANITY!

He’s even getting Sidney Crosby in on the act.

So awkward. So creepy.

But don’t worry, guys. He can’t find us here. We’re safe.

…Oh my God.

Thanks again to Penguins GIF Factory for permission to use all of these GIFs (and creating a brand new one just for this post)!


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