Rivalry Schmivalry: Chicago Blackhawks 5, Colorado Avalanche 2

Hope you're feeling better soon, Hossa. (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

Hope you’re feeling better soon, Hossa. (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

I guess I’m supposed to write about how the Chicago Blackhawks finally got THEIR REVENGE!!1!one! on the Colorado Avalanche for ending The Streak, but really — it’s the Avs. The Blackhawks are fully rested. There was no doubt that the Blackhawks couldn’t get it done tonight.

So, instead of being a revenge game, it was more like this:

Another game, another three-point night for Patrick Kane, including that  crazy extreme angle goal everyone’s talking about.

Another game, another three-point night for Jonathan Toews (one goal, two assists). He had the goal that put the dagger into the Avalanche’s collective heart.

Another game, another shitbag hit on one of the Blackhawks by Ryan O’Byrne — this time, on Marian Hossa. Hossa did not return to the game and will be reassessed tomorrow. Until then, consider him day-to-day.

(O’Byrne would follow that up with a crosscheck to Brandon Saad‘s mouth because he’s an O’Bag of Douche.)

Another game, another win for Ray Emery. He’s now 11-0-0 on the season.

Another game, another TOI record for Brandon Bollig — 12 minutes and six seconds! He’s actually starting to look sort of okay-ish, maybe? Keep trending in that direction, Bollig, and maybe I’ll stop making fun of you. Maybe. (Hahaha no I won’t.)

And, finally — another game, another miserable, mediocre Western Conference team probably on the verge of being blown up before next season because the Blackhawks rolled into town and made them look like the third-rate team they are.

Did I get that right? We’ll see when Patrick Roy is coaching the Avs next season (oh please, oh please).

Anyway, let’s all celebrate Brent Seabrook‘s goal two shifts after he was released from Coach Joel Quenneville‘s doghouse for allowing Gabriel Landeskog to score short-handed to cut the Blackhawks’ lead to 2-1 in the dying seconds of the first period. Why? Because my Twitter timeline flooded with nachos references as soon as it happened. I love you all.

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