Blackhawks Vs. Blues Episode III: Return Of The Hoss

Today’s preview is brought to you by Krista Golden, the Chicago Blackhawks beat writer for Rant Sports. Follow her on Twitter at @lechatsavant.

Good to have you back again, Hossa. (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

Good to have you back again, Hossa. (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

Welcome to the post-trade apocalypse, brought to you by…wait, this isn’t the Pittsburgh Penguins’ Twitter account. Anyway, tonight we shall see a new St. Louis Blues take on the Chicago Blackhawks. Ho hum, didn’t they beat the Blues twice already? Yeah, they did.

The Blues will try to win this game, oh, they’ll try. They added Jay Bouwmeester and Jordan Leopold to their defense. You remember Bouwmeester, the guy who tied the first Calgary Flames game? Yeah, that’s him. I promised a friend that I wouldn’t pick on him, so I won’t.

But hark, who comes upon this ice against this foe? ‘Tis Marian Hossa, back from his upper-body injury (thanks, new Toronto Maple Leaf Ryan O’Byrne!). Have we missed Hoss? Judging from the way I screech during every power play, the answer is a rather shrill yes. Poor Michael Frolik will go back to the bottom six, but that’s all right. We’ll never forget his two goals.

This will be the first time we see Michal Handzus in the Indian Head jersey. I really, really want him to have the kind of game Ryane Clowe had on Wednesday, just so Sharks fans can gnash their teeth and have wailing fits in the streets. So what if Handzus only has a goal and an assist to his name this season? Clowe didn’t have a goal, and look what he did. It would tickle me to see Handzus do the same.

Unfortunately, Patrick Sharp won’t be playing tonight, much to the despair of everyone. Picture people camping out before Black Friday, ready to break down the doors of Best Buy for that elusive $100 laptop. That’s Sharpie, banging on the doors of Injury Jail. He needs to be fully healed, especially for the playoffs, so it’s good that he’s not rushing things.

If you paid any attention on Wednesday, you noticed that Patrick Kane was absent from practice due to illness. He’ll play tonight, but the first person to make a “he wasn’t sick, he was hung over” comment will watch me stuff my Game of Thrones books into my purse before I hit them with it. Kaner will be on the ice if he has to tape an IV to his arm and stuff the bag in his shorts [insert obligatory ‘Michael Jordan playing while sick with the flu’ mention here].

The only thing I worry about is the power play. I can’t with this power play anymore, I swear. The week I spent in agony from food poisoning was more fun than the power play. I could be nice and call it “not good” or “wretched,” but let’s face it, it’s just gross and makes me want to punt babies. Hopefully with Hossa back, it’ll do better. Please, tell me it’ll get better.

One more thing: if the Hawks blow the third period again, they will incur the wrath of whatever from high atop the thing. And by that, I mean I’ll shove all of them in the little windowless room of my basement and lock them in there until they remember how to play hockey correctly.

All that being said, I can’t wait to watch this game. Remember, HOSS IS BACK.

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