Corey Crawford‘s injury, and why Casey doesn’t find it as funny as most people (but I still think it’s hilarious)
The Chicago Blackhawks won their game against the St. Louis Blues even though Antti Raanta still gives us fits because the Patrick Kane–Brad Richards–Kris Versteeg line is the best bargain in hockey right now.
Some other news around the league, such as:
Jean Beliveau died on Tuesday
MORE MUMPS, THOUGH. HONESTLY?
A couple of quick notes about Ilya Bryzgalov working out with the Ducks and Daniel Alfredsson retiring an Ottawa Senator.
Hockey Trashboys: On Steve Lepore, Adrian Dater, and how to be an ally (or not be an ally, as it were). Not that we name any names (lol psych we totally name names).
Questions from the audience! Yes, we’re making this a regular feature on the podcast now, so please send us your questions to us via Twitter (linked below under the cut), my ask box on Tumblr, or on our brand-new email account: firstname.lastname@example.org!
From Rachel: “Can you say 3 nice things (each) about the Blues?”
From a few people on Twitter: “Can you name the Blackhawks’ daemons?” (Casey takes the question exactly wrong — or exactly right, if you’re a computer geek.)
From a friend on Twitter: “Which NHL team do you think would be most likely to sign Hilary Knight for realsies? And follow-up question: which NHL player would she get into a fight with first?”
Jonathan Toews bought a house in Lincoln Park. We make fun of it because we can.
Someone answered our question from last week (“What kind of pet would Patrick Kane have, since he might be allergic to dogs?”) with a fanfic about Patrick Kane and a tortoise. We are presenting it under the cut, because you should read this and know that neither of us are this creative to write this. Also because I LOVE IT.
Every game that we haven’t covered, which is (surprise!) every game after the home opener, from the St. Louis Blues to the Tampa Bay Lightning (which includes me laughing hysterically about how the Lightning game went down)
Reassuring Blackhawks fans about the stuttering start the team has had
An overview of the NHL standings, or why the Colorado Avalanche are one goaltender injury away from a complete collapse
The timing of Peter Laviolette‘s firing actually makes sense now.
I still hate the Edmonton Oilers, so I don’t care that Nail Yakupov got scratched or that Taylor Hall broke some Gretzky record.
EVERYONE IS GETTING SUSPENDED.
EVERYONE IS GETTING INJURED — especially if they’re on my fantasy team.
I would hate the Buffalo Sabres if they weren’t so sad, but that doesn’t stop me from getting angry with them about the John Scott hit.
Viktor Stalberg is a healthy scratch for the Nashville Predators, and he deserves it.
Old dudes are retiring.
This week’s Line Cocktail will hasten the coming of the holidays.
This week’s question: What Halloween costumes should the Blackhawks wear this year?
The Blackhawks games you can feel pretty okay with missing or only half-watching if you have other things to do, like wrapping presents or folding laundry. Note: This includes a lot of Minnesota Wild and Dallas Stars games.
Saying goodbye (and good riddance) to Daniel Carcillo, one weird guy who did some dumbass shit.
Kyle Beach getting re-signed for a one-year deal.
The Blackhawks signing DrewLeBLAHLeBlanc, Theo Peckham, and Mike Kostka. I’m sure they’ll make fine Rockford IceHogs.
Blackhawks players who we think are locks for their respective countries’ teams in the 2014 Olympics in Sochi. We also talk about the rumor that Corey Crawford has been invited to Team Canada’s camp.
The new NHL division names, or why “Metropolitan Division” is a really stupid name.
Dustin Brown getting re-signed by the Los Angeles Kings, and the Blackhawks’ role in this.
Matt Duchene getting re-signed by the Colorado Avalanche.
Some other re-signings, along with discussing the guys who are still out there, including Jaromir Jagr and Tim Thomas.
Calling out two dumbass commentators who posted stupid shit on our YouTube live feed of this podcast, because fuck those guys.
Question for the week: Send us questions about the Blackhawks so we ) can answer them while drunkenly attempting to podcast on Friday night at the Blackhawks Convention.
Discussing the Blackhawks’ draft picks, including Ryan Hartman
Buyouts, including the Blackhawks using their two buyouts on Steve Montador and Rostislav Olesz
Making fun of the Philadelphia Flyers by myself while Casey went to run a quick errand
Other stuff from around the league, including Kris Letang getting re-signed by the Pittsburgh Penguins, Tim Thomas emerging from his bunker, and the Professional Hockey Writers Association failing at voting again
Patrick Kane is down to have a weird time.
Corey Crawford, on the other hand, is just down to have a drunk time.
The NHL Awards! Because I guess we should talk about those! Jonathan Toews won the Selke, the terrible goaltending tandem of Corey Crawford and Ray Emery won the Jennings, none of the other Chicago Blackhawks won anything — whatever.
Swardy BangBang is our favorite commenter on this podcast, and she is an awesome cartoonist in real life. Her comic on the NHL lockout is called Chelsea Chelsea (What A Cluster-Puck), and you can buy it here! It’s $5 total if you live in the US, so get on that.
The first five games of the Stanley Cup Final (not Finals!) against the Boston Bruins
CORSI is a fun fancystat you should learn.
Brandon Bollig should never be in an OT game in the SCF ever again.
Jonathan Toews and Patrice Bergeron were both injured in Game 5, but will be playing in Game 6? Okay!
Other things that happened across the NHL, including Alain Vigneault and John Tortorella trading jobs and the Colorado Avalanche being idiots about not taking Seth Jones, maybe.
The Line Cocktail this week is pretty spectacular.
We have no question for this week, because fuck questions — the season is almost over!
Go support Casey’s hockey team, the Chicago Snow Hawks, by going out to Bar Forza for a Game 6 Watch Party! I won’t be there because me going out to a bar for a Blackhawks game is apparently bad luck — but Casey will be there, along with other awesome people. The address is 2476 N Lincoln Ave., Chicago, IL 60614. Go stop by and tell Casey I sent you!
Thanks to everyone who listened and downloaded the podcast last week! I hope you all continue to listen.
The Chicago Blackhawks‘ last two games against the Detroit Red Wings in the Stanley Cup Western Conference Semi-Finals, and their first two games against the Los Angeles Kings in the Western Conference Finals.
A rant about NBC Sports Network picking on Patrick Kane, and the “Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane Show” in general.
The other game that happened this week: the Pittsburgh Penguins getting shut out by the Boston Bruins in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals.
Zdeno Chara is terrifying.
The Line Cocktail for this week gives no fucks.
Discussing last week’s question, including a shocking confession from me.
This week’s question: If the Blackhawks do make it to the Stanley Cup Finals, would you rather see them take on the Penguins or the Bruins, and why?